How to Be a Maverick

The term “maverick” comes from Samuel Maverick (1803-1870), a Texas rancher who refused to brand his cattle. Turns out he didn’t brand his cattle because he didn’t like ranching, not because he was being stubbornly independent. Oh well, despite this, Maverick became maverick in the English language. And now, when you think about it, the true lack of veracity in the etymology of the word is very fitting now.

If you were to strive to be a maverick from an early age, just how might you go about it? First, I’d say that a maverick absolutely could not live at home and let their parents take care of them. You’d have to leave as soon as you could, in order to get started on the long, tough road to Being A Maverick (BAM).

Secondly, you’d have to be careful about what college you chose. It couldn’t be some well-known, hard-to-get-into-but-it-looks-fantastic-on-the-resume college, it would have to be something nobody ever heard of. The College of Hard Knocks and Knockwurst Production, perhaps. Or maybe correspondence schools. A divinity degree would be one good choice.

It would be important to evade military service if you were male, and to seek it out if you were female.

Choosing a career would be the next important step in BAM. It is imperative to avoid large corporations or government service. Working for a non-profit would be a good start, especially if you worked as a volunteer, without pay, and made an income by selling an unusual product online, especially one that was homemade. This would probably limit your income enough to qualify as BAM, since it is doubtful that there have ever been wealthy mavericks. If there are any, they take no deductions, while striving to pay as much of the tax burden as possible.

Once a career has been chosen, it is important not to stay with it too long, but instead to seek a new adventure every couple of years.

Marriage is the next big step. Well, not-marriage might be a better choice. They used to call it living together in sin. It would be important not to call that significant other husband or wife. Think of something else. Being gay would help—gay people have all kinds of different names for the people they aren’t allowed to marry. It would be essential to follow one’s own preferences, though, because mavericks are stubbornly independent, not people who bow down to societal expectations. Marriage to a person who is obviously quite different than you is a must. Different as to color, height (at least 18 inches), weight (at least 100 pounds), intelligence, wealth, career, family—radical differences here can all contribute to one’s success at BAM. Gender has an opposite effect in this case, however, since choosing a similar gender for not-marriage actually increases maverick-ness.

True mavericks are political. They vote. They vote in every election, and they vote about every issue and choose between every single candidate on the ballot, even the dogcatcher, should that be an elected position on the ballot. Not only do mavericks vote, they educate themselves about everything on the ballot, and make choices outside of party lines. No piddling Republican or Democrat, liberal or conservative, labels for them! Mavericks never worry about throwing their votes away by choosing a candidate with absolutely no chance of winning. They’ll even write in names if they want. Sure, it takes more time to BAM, but nobody promised you a rose garden, right? Besides, a maverick would prefer cactus to roses, but only in the Pacific Northwest.

Another biggie is choice of church or religion. It is important to realize that these are not necessarily related. One can be Buddhist in one’s soul while sitting uncomfortably in a Presbyterian pew. Adopting an unusual religion is of the essence. Perhaps one that requires yellow robes, and chanting and playing the tambourine in airports. There are untold numbers of outlandish religions to choose from. One could even switch every couple of years, just as one chooses a new career.

Choice of children is another area one must be careful about. Having children who are obviously related to each other is an impediment to BAM. This means that adoption is just about the only alternative. This is good, though, because there are a lot of children out there who really need a good, maverick, home. Bringing more children into a maverick-starved world is probably not a good idea. The only other viable choice is to have no children at all.

Probably the biggest choice that one must make in order to truly be a maverick is in personal values—how one lives life from a moral perspective. Just the fact that one actually lives life from a moral perspective! I’m not talking sex, here, when I speak of morals, I’m talking ethics, principles, integrity, what guides your decisions, how you decide what is right and what is wrong.

I’ve heard of a true maverick who suggested that we all live our lives according to the Golden Rule. You know, do unto others? This was said in all seriousness, and it was suggested that we could all think this way. Ask how an action of yours might affect someone else, and then do it if you’d like it done to you, and don’t do it if you wouldn’t. Even if you personally gained from doing something to others that you wouldn’t like to have done to you. Isn’t that amazing? This is where the rubber meets the road, potential mavericks. This is the grad-school of maverick-ness. Have you got what it takes to graduate with a BAM degree?